The Rule

Steve is Evil. I usually don’t do the whole meme thing, but since I am back to serious blogging, I have to give this a go. So here are the “Top-Five Critically-Lauded Movies I Simply Detest”

1. M. Night Shyamalan’s Signs
2. The Matrix II & III
3. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
4. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
5. Chicago

Ok, some of these (or maybe all) are not “critically acclaimed”, but they were popular, I did see them, and I did not enjoy it.

Edit: Here’s a few more:

• Munich
• Leaving Las Vegas
• A Clockwork Orange
• Death Wish
• The Piano
• Monster
• Crash
• Seven

As a follow up to “News Finds Me“, I present an article in The New Yorker in which the downward trend of traditional print media is followed. Although a bit long-winded (it is The New Yorker, after all) this article again identifies the demise of newspapers.

• The New York Times Company: stock down 54% since 2004
• The McClatchey Company/Knight Ridder: surrendered 80% of its stock
• 25% of all American newspaper jobs have disappeared since 1990

The prediction is that the last newspaper will be chucked onto the last doorstep by 2043. But we have seen these kinds of predictions before. And while I myself tend to have a specific disdain for printed newspapers (messy, ad-ridden, johnny-come-lately), I do not share the dire view of newspapers. Books are increasingly available in electronic format, whether by audiobook or ebook. And yet, libraries are still open, Amazon.com is still king of the hill, and I have a few thousand books on my shelves.

I love books. The weight of one in my hands and the smell of the pages convinces me that I am smarter because of them. Books are truly romantic and real. The power of the printed word is immeasurable.

And so it is for newspapers. Despite my disdain, the smell of the ink on the paper and the weight of the Sunday edition as it lie across my lap provide a real and tangible connection to the world.

Yes, my reasoning smacks more of nostalgia than substantive argument. And this is where I wax of philosophy. Man is corporeal and must ultimately rely on real things in order to be properly formed. And while the Internet, blogs, and other electronic media are definitely here to stay, by his very nature Man needs that which he can possess. A bookmark to the New York Times after 9/11 means nothing compared to having a physical copy of the same newspaper in one’s own possession.

One of the great losses within today’s society is the inability to know what Man is. Sure, we all have ideas of what Man should be or could be. But we must first learn and accept that Man is a corporeal creature, with all of the pitfalls and potential that comes with a full understanding of ‘corporeal creature’. Only after embracing this definition and understanding it can publications like The New Yorker predict what Man will or will not do. Until that time, a man can be paid the big bucks to spew 1,000 words to predict the end of a legacy — but not be called ‘Chicken Little’.

Man Claims to Speak ‘Australian’ After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat

SYDNEY —  A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak “Australian”.

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: “Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right, you know.”

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours’ community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.

All I can say is that I’ll have what he’s having.

I was reading about the new movie, “The Dark Knight“, the sequel to 2005’s “Batman Begins”, which opens July 18, 2008. Of course, the focus was on the (not-so) recent death of actor Heath Ledger and other posthumous movie releases.

I walked away from the story wondering at the immortal stardom of those who die before a movie is released. Of course, the article tied in Bruce Lee, Brandon Lee, John Candy, Spencer Tracy, James Dean, Clark Gable, and Will Rogers. Hollywood is such a navel-gazing, cannibalistic beast that it continually eats its own to make a few dollars. And pop culture fans will shell out the extra dough to see “last film of <insert-actor-here>”

Every article since Mr. Ledger’s death has (and will) tie in the Joker character in this last film. Every article mentions how tortured he was while performing this role. And every article will somehow whitewash the impact of such roles on the person himself.

“It was punk, it was ‘A Clockwork Orange, it was druggie. It was this kind of fantastic, anarchic look to him. This character who had absolutely no rules whatsoever,” said Christian Bale, who returns as rich guy Bruce Wayne and his crime-fighting alter-ego Batman. “That’s not like any Joker I’ve ever seen before, what I saw Heath do.”

A Clockwork Orange? I still vomit a little bit into my mouth whenever I think about that movie. Why would anyone want to be compared to that? That is a lasting comparison which will taint Ledger’s career until the next celebrity-death-prior-to-movie-release.

And Hollywood wins. Why? Because you have to see it:

… said “Brokeback Mountain” director Ang Lee. “That’s why it’s scary. You see the trailer, just a few shots of him, you have to see the movie. … I’m anxious to see it. I’m afraid to see it. I don’t know how I’ll respond to it, but you have to see it.”