Texting: The Booty Caller Texts You When to Make Babies.
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Posts Tagged ‘nfp’
NFP Reply
In catholic, family on July 31, 2008 at 7:14 pmI posted this over at Steve’s, but I thought it would be a good post on it’s own:
First off, before I get flamed, artificial contraception should not be used under any circumstances.
Now, I lament the fact that NFP is treated like an 8th Sacrament, or that one’s orthodoxy is judged according the one’s use of NFP. When “good” Catholics discover that we do not use NFP, we get the deer-in-headlights stare as the jaw whacks the floor. We might as well have told them that we eat fried kittens for lunch on Tuesdays.
However, I would like to explore the actual feelings and thoughts of MEN in relation to NFP.
The men with whom I have spoken about NFP actually pay lip-service to the “intimacy” that NFP provides. In actuality, peak fertility time is fightin’ time. I have been through several NFP classes in order to learn about the different methods, and so am very familiar with the ins-and-outs of NFP procedures, charting, and intimacy brainwashing. So please, don’t fire off the “You don’t get it” argument. I have an incredible physically and emotionally intimate relationship with my wife. And NFP had nothing to do with it.
In general, NFP is degrading to men. Now, there may be some dude out there that actually does notice the increased intimacy from practicing NFP and discussing the issues calmly and unbiased during the time of peak fertility. However, those men are the minority.
The rest of us feel belittled and insignificant when The Chart is used as a weapon. As a married person, I have a right to the marriage act, just as I have a duty/debt to perform the marriage act with my spouse. The Church, in Her Wisdom, has coupled both of those terms to marital relations. It is the marriage right and the marriage debt, and both imply a certail level of justice to the marriage.
I do not disregard the “just cause” as detailed by Steve above. However, I am going to talk past it.
NFP has done less for marriage relationships than its proponents think. NFP has turned men into beggars and liars and denied them of the right which they possess by the very nature of the Sacrament of Matrimony. NFP has broken down the levels of intimacy between the spouses by becoming a subject of monthly contention and building a wall to block communication between the spouses.
NFP also places sex in a strained context. Rather than the sexual act being an experience of profound unity, the mere topic of sex becomes a source of division amongst the spouses.
Enough for now. If you want to get your marriage back, burn The Chart and work on building true unity and intimacy in your relationship. (”just causes” excluded, of course).
